Fairy Tales (with guns)
The National Rifle Association has recently decided that the way to promote their gun rights among the American people is to retell the classic stories with guns. Thus far, they have rewritten The Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel, handing guns into the hands of the children protagonists, resulting in, surprisingly, significantly less bloodshed.
In the NRA's retelling of The Little Red Riding Hood, the fact that the eponymous character has a gun deters the wolf from ever approaching her, allowing her to reach Grandmother's home in peace.
In the retelling of Hansel and Gretel, the fact that gun ownership is present allows the titular characters to avoid the original story's plot entirely, as the fact that the family had guns allowed them to hunt for food, not forage and find the evil witch's candy hut.
According to the NRA:"Most of us probably grew up having fairy tales read to us as we drifted off to sleep. But how many times have you thought back and realized just how, well, grim some of them are? Did any of them ever make your rest a little bit uneasy? Have you ever wondered what those same fairy tales might sound like if the hapless Red Riding Hoods, Hansels and Gretels had been taught about gun safety and how to use firearms? The author of this piece, Amelia Hamilton has—and NRA Family is proud to announce that we’ve partnered with the author to present her twist on those classic tales. We hope you and your children enjoy this first installment!"
These actions have had significant outcry among the anti-gun community, starting the hashtag "#NRAfairytales". These tweets showcase how gun violence may have negatively impacted classic stories by adding to the blood and murder of the classic tales, not reducing it. Sample tweets include:
"The porridge was too cold, the bed was too hard, but this AK47 is just right. Who's up for some bearskln rugs?" -@Scott_Craven2
"Prince traveling kingdom 2 find owner of glass slipper shot dead by gun wielding evil stepmother" -@SarahFMcD